Times are changing and changing fast thus if you are in the game then you better play it by the rules if you wish to cause least inconvenience to yourself.
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Ganesh Chathurthi is coming in a few days. The festival popularized by Lokmanya Tilak to propel the freedom struggle by bringing about unity in its masses. It was a festival where the God of wisdom, love and peace is revered for about ten days by his devotees. However don’t you get caught in the old beliefs and nibble away quietly at your lords’ feet for then you shall not be the new age devotee! ‘Coz as I said, Times have changed and here are some tips to make sure you are in sync with them….
First thing you must know to do is dance wildly in the middle of the street and not worry about any ongoing traffic or old and sick people wanting some peace to stay alive! For if you don’t dance to loud music in the middle of the road or if you even have problems with anyone doing the same then good lord save you for you are anti Ganpati Bappa and thus a sinner!! Ganpati Bappa Morya!
Mind you the louder the music the more will be your devotion to the lord. The songs can be anything from “Sexy Sexy to Nanachi Taang”, the only compulsion is that they must have good bass and fast beats, lyrics are not important. Ganpati Bappa Morya!
Don’t worry about the expenses of the speakers, generators, lighting and crowd for if you approach any political party they shall extend you with the help in arranging all of the same since they too are true Ganesh Bhakts and care for your feelings immensely. Ganpati Bappa Morya!
Don’t worry about the stamina to dance for drinking alchohol is allowed. The lord just wants to make sure that the road remains clogged at all times and music plays consistently loud so that your feelings can have him touched. Thus all kinds of intoxicants are allowed but of course non veg is not allowed… for there are certain rules and they cannot be broken. Ganpati Bappa Morya!
Another important thing is the huge pandals with expensive decoration- the money for which comes by extorting the shop keepers from around the area. Ganpati Bappa Morya!
Remember larger the pandals the more will be your devotion to the lord. They can be illegal for there is no law on religion … so your pandals can overflow into the main streets. Ganpati Bappa Morya!
Traffic will by itself get diverted and anybody objecting shall be a sinner who will be delivered of his sins instantly by the messengers of the lord Ganesha- appointed by the sponsor of the pandal- usually sitting around a carom board or a game of cards outside the pandal.
Lastly make as much mess as possible during immersion time around the road to that your devotion is scattered in all directions and don’t worry about the fact that the large idols will break into pieces and float back on the shore the next day because after all you are only human and cannot take care of a god!
….who I am afraid will soon be hidding himself somewhere for these ten days of the year! Ganpati Bappa Morya!
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