Flash Mob and the Bollywood Dance Number!

"How can 20 people suddenly appear to dance behind the hero from no where and that too dance with synchronized steps??", said my US returned cousin to me three years back when he learnt that i intended to make my living out of writing Hindi feature films. Couple of my south Bombay friends agreed unanimously with him at the atrocious nature of such a- "crime!" "Come on man", began one of them, "it is demented to suddenly have people dance like that! Whats the point?!"
I tried the usual reasoning with them, from 'cinema' being a fantasy to the fact that it was fictional and an exaggerated representation of joy or sorrow. They found it retarded!


Three weeks back they showed me some clips on their 'macs.' They were excited about the whole thing. It was what they called- "Flash Mobs"!
"Check this out, bro", gushed one, "200 people suddenly getting together and dancing in synchronized steps, as the guy proposes to his girl friend! Cool Na?"
"Look at the thrill on the faces of people watching man!" swooned the other!
I smiled. I agreed. I smiled more!!

I did not know about flash mobs until the last week of November this year. When i saw the clip Flash Mob @ CST - i loved it and could not help notice the similarity between a flash mob and a Bollywood number!

In both instances the mob appears out of nowhere for the sole reason to have fun. After having done that they disappear as soon as they appeared without any rhyme or reason!! There is no logic to it. There is no reason except for the pure joy of having fun. How only if the purist could be understanding of films as they are of life... or NO!...even there they just claim to be!

All the same, the only difference between the flash mob and a Bollywood number as i see it is that while flash mob (as per wiki) started in 2003, the Bollywood dance number would be completing a 100 years within the next decade!

Cool man??!

What is the truth?

 It is imperative to want to have an opinion on things happening around us and invariably we do end up having one. But it is a matter of intrigue to me and also a matter of constant concern as to how much of the truth do we know before reaching an opinion.

 We all know about the Adrash Scam. A 6 storey building meant to be for the widows of Kargil war heroes ended up being a 30 storey building in which most flats were owned by the people who hob-knobbed in the circles of power and politics. A Chief Minister had to resign in the context but what next? Who was truly to blame for it and what actually could be happening now?

 Some years back Vilasrao Deshmukh lost his job as the Chief Minister of Maharashtra after the 26/11 terror attacks. Last month we saw him going over as a Prime Ministers’ messenger to break Anna Hazzare’s iconic Anti Corruption fast! He also happens to be involved in the Adarsh scam and is now a Union Minister in the nation’s capital! Was there any truth in his rebuttal?

Similarly, the Gujarat riots, the most recent of massacres in our time have been forever clouded with dark shadows of perception and justifications. Presently, Sanjeev Bhatt, an officer of the rank of DIG revealed out loud that the Chief Minister Mr. Narendra Modi allowed the Hindu’s to kill the Muslim’s. He has now been arrested after a junior level constable filed a FIR against him. What is the truth here? It is a fact that Bhatt has had a tainted past but he was also a DIG meaning which his past was not a matter of concern to those in power whom he is accusing today. But there is also sensationalism to the possibility of him being used by the opposition to upstage the all power Modi! How and when will we ever know the truth?

For that matter the auto rickshaw strike- that’s been affecting us more directly then the two above mentioned cases of theft against us tax payers, voters and citizens- is also a matter clouded by curtains of smudgy facts and vested interests. 

I blogged yesterday about how it is unfair to hold the state to ransom and inconvenience the common man and I stand by that, but I wonder who is to blame for this. The Union leader who is a member of the Nationalist Congress Party who for all we know might have some larger gain at hand in all of this, the auto driver who does not mind the extra buck or the hooligans amongst all of them whose only joy is to get a kick out of showing their might over others? Again...Who is to know the truth?

One might suggest an RTI application as the answer and I’ll only point out the couple photo-op that happened of our nations Home Minister-Chidambaram and Finance Minister- Mukherjee, last week when an RTI application revealed Pranab Mukherjee’s ministry noting on some file that the then Finance Minister Chidambaram was in know how of the 2G spectrum scam that cost our country’s government some 7000 crores loss! They both however came together and said, “There is nothing wrong and it’s all settled.” Everyone moved on wondering.... What could have been the truth??

THIS IS UN-FARE!

The auto rickshaw drivers in Mumbai have gone on strike yet again in a span of three weeks.

The last time they went on strike was because their meters were found faulty and they found it absolutely unfair that they had to correct them. They were angry and offended when told that they could not tamper their meters and cheat the commuters! They genuinely believed that they had a right to do it considering they pay bribes to the Cops and other agencies. Their leader Sharad Rao definitely agrees!

This time around Mr. Rao has reached the office of the Transport Officer with a list of demands that include a fare hike, a ‘public servant’ status to be given to the auto drivers so that they can be entitled to government welfare schemes and pensions and he wants each auto driver to at least take home Rs. 25,000/- a month. If all his demands are not met then they will again go on an indefinite strike from the 9^th October’11.

Of course with all sincerity Mr. Rao claims that he has not called the strike. It’s just a co-incidence that he is supporting it!

Another co-incidence is the silence from all our public loving politicians on the said issue. No one amongst them is presently affected by the manner in which the common man is held ransom by the auto mafia. It goes in murmurs here that Sharad Rao is a member of Sharap Pawars Nationalist Congree Party!! Tsk-Tsk!

So the picture seems clear as of now- Our beloved auto drivers have understood in no uncertain terms that we cannot do without them. They have decided to take us for granted and abuse their privilege. They will be back- on and off. They will ply to areas only where they wish to go and when they wish to go. Meanwhile they will charge us more, become public servants but not pay tax because how can you account for their income?, take home atleast 25 grand a month, continue to create traffic jams and live happily ever after.

No wonder the phrase is “to hail an auto”, may be it comes from “Hail Hitler”!!!

P.S.: As for me, I have reduced my auto usage considerably, almost nil. There is the BEST Bus and the train. Walking in our weather is a sweaty affair but if done smartly it can work. Not to mention the excercise it offers. But thats for me. Feels sorry to be treated like this.

Was it a Govt. blunder or is there more than meets the eye?

Before I begin, let me state that I have no verified facts to speculate what I do here, this is merely a Layman’s Rant as it would be considering all that’s been happening over the last 4 days! It does make for thrilling fiction though!

It all started with the governments horrendous goof up- The arrest of Anna Hazare and he being sentenced to 7 days of judicial custody! It was an occasion where the whole nation concurred; barring those in power! If this was imply an error an apology would have been more gracious but what followed was a bizzare chain of events and announcements that has 'left my left eye' twitching ever since!

For when we speak of people in power here, we are not talking of some minority government who has just come to power after warming the opposition benches for decades, We are talking of the Congress here- The traditional rulers of our democratic land. These people are not some naive opportunists to jump the gun; instead these are seasoned strategists with cold hearts and sharp minds. Could they have committed what looks and is an obvious error of this proportion or is there more than meets the eye?

For a few things have very discreetly and naturally happened over the last four days while we fret, fume and agitate over the arrogance and ignorance of the government.

Firstly, the 24*7 channels who are so detrimental to the nations agitations have covered the protests so thoroughly that there is absolute no room left for any other news! Suddenly all the scams and probes that were the talking point have got buried under the repetitive discussions that each celebrated news reader conducts on their prime time debate shows.

Secondly, we all know that- to err is human but to err again and again is sin. How could then this veteran government commit a faux pass within as few days, as they did by declaring that the US was in someway involved behind all the protests. Its taking the bizarre to another level which is not a nature of these men in white of the Congress. They are programmed over half a century to speak carefully and diplomatically. Even in the confines of their homes- I am guessing :P- they could be appointing committees and sub committees to decide how much pocket money their kids!

Thirdly, Forgive me for being cynical but is it mere co-incidence that it is when the “Congress’ High Command” is recuperating out of her beloved country that an uprising of such levels occurs in the country?? You may read either her competence in this or something else but the co-incidence has been not brought by anybody because the secrets of the congress are a matter of holy grail!

However, on the contrary, Last night the news channels had already resorted to digging the closets of ‘Team Anna’. In a very sincere but heavily sarcastic tone they smirked at how some of Anna’s team members were educated and accomplished people, some former media men and women, as if that was enough proof to something being amiss in their sincerity! Could we be soon witness to the Congress machinery’s might as they surgically destroy the tidal wave they used to wash their sins but are now afraid could wash them too??

I am yet to read the Jan Lokpal and my above rant is only a reaction to Anna being arrested, sent to prison, then released, events thereafter and above all the arrogance with which every congress leader has shirked from taking responsibility of the blunder.

It however still remains to me a blunder, too naive to be committed by a ruling party of such experience... I hope there is not something that’s missed our eye!

Full National Anthem or Full Poem?

First time in 65 years- hear and sing- the “Full National Anthem” screamed NDTV 24*7 on their prime time bulletin last night. Earlier in the day I read The Times Of India claiming to 'present'- The Full National Anthem'. On their loud and ever so sensational channel Times Now too they were going to unviel the ‘Full National Anthem’!!

“Why were we singing only half of the national anthem?”, asked my 8 year old neighbor whom I had forced to watch the parades and PM’s address that morning on DoorDarshan.

Does that mean we have been singing only half of our national anthem for over last 6 decades???!!! Does that mean those generations that had amongst them, people who fought for our freedom and won and celebrated, did so only with half of our national anthem??? Does that mean WE- the so called shinning nation of the 21^st Century- amongst other things did not even get our National Anthem right? NO!, Of course not!

What we have been singing and know as our national anthem is indeed our ‘full’ national anthem adopted officially by the Constituent Assembly on the 24^th Of January, 1950. However it happens to be the first of five stanzas from a Brahmo poem that Ravindranath Tagore wrote in 1919. Thus although the original poem contains five stanzas, our national anthem is full and complete with the first stanza which we have been proudly and judiciously singing all these years from 27^th December’1911 when it was first sung in the Calcutta session of the Indian National Congress.

However on the strategic eve of the Independence Day an album has been released called Jaya Hey which has the "full poem" by Tagore.

If only our freedom would have imbibed responsibility in us our media know the difference between a "poem" and a "national anthem".

Should we shut down the Censor Board?

Makes sense doesn’t it? For what is the purpose of an institution whose say has no credibility? It goes about doing its work monotonously and even judiciously only to then look like a buffoon sitting on the sidelines and watching its mockery!

There are many cases that I can think of but lets take the case of the recently in storm, Prakash Jha’s “Aarakshan”. Censor board has seen the film with a group of people who were from all the sections of the society that the film represents or effects. All of them unanimously gave the film a U/A certificate, meaning the film can be watched even by under aged viewers. That should have been the end of the story had the Censor Board had any authority or standing.

What has happened is from various corners of the country, any round, dick and hairy politician is standing up and announcing a ban on the film. Without having seen the film, they have passed their verdict that the film is hurting sentiments of their people (read vote banks) and have ordered their followers (read hired goons) to burn posters and break offices of the film maker. The actors are issued threats and banned from entering states- all without seeing the film and for the people who are really not bothered.

Meanwhile, the film maker is running from court to lawyer, assuring distributors and hoping that people at least see his film first before passing a verdict on it.

What happens to the Censor Board at such times? They continue to watch more films- free and first- spending tax payer money on their job which seems to be completely ineffective and a farce.

Now tell me... Should the Censor Board be shut or not?

Do the clerks & peons at government offices hate us?

There is something synonymous about boredom and government officials. By definition they are ‘public servants’ and since we- the tax payers and voters- happen to be the public, the government employees/ staff are meant to respect and attend to us when we knock on their tables. However, no one that I know of has ever been blessed with as much as a polite gesture- let alone a welcoming smile- from the said officials!!

Instead what greets us often is irritation, boredom, lethargy and sometimes even hostility. They seem to get offended especially when they sense that we- who have been made to wait for hours, have got all the papers needed and have been nice to them- are showing signs of impatience . So what if the employee is talking on phone- repeating the simple alloo sabzi recipe for the 4^th time- or abnoxiously discussing his next door neighbours issues with his next table collegue, while we restlessly wait? We are not supposed to even- squirm!

Worst effected are the ones who do not know the regional language! God save them!

It is such an uniform behaviourial tendency that one cannot escape it. Everytime I have been to say a Passport Office, RTO, Mumbai University etc I have almost felt as if somepeople have put up large banners on top of their heads that read- “I do not want to work” or “Go back! I hate you for coming here you fucking citizen of India!”.

The two reason for the above- as told to me- are - 1) Low Pay which builds that angst and hatred and 2) Monotony of work which make them bitter and irritable.

I agree with the reasons although they do make up for the money part!! My only bone of contention in some cases is that these people chose these lives. I feel their behavious is an escape route or rather a solution to the above two reason/ problems. Here’s how-

On most occasions such government employees happen to be people who are not ambitious or conscientious. They are never from very rich back grounds and have had restricted means where they grew up with one goal- to secure ‘ a permanent government job’ and now- They have got it!! But hey... life is still not over! How does then one cope with the tiresome monotony? How does one motivate oneself to get up every day in the morning and turn up for work? All of us need kicks that propel us

to do what we would have otherwise not liked to and these indespensable public servants get these kicks from that one element that is most intoxicating- “Power”.

The knowledge that someone is depending on you (thats us!). Someone who seems to have more facilities than you may have had, more ambitions than you have had and more avenues than you wish to have. To make that someone suffer when they come to you is a thrill that they get used to and embrace.

Hence, the peon loves it when he is cajoled and begged to do what he is supposed to do. The clerk loves it when he can dig his nose or clean his ear while we wait helplessly. The guy at the booking counter loves to walk off and announce lunch time even though he is not hungry. They all simply love to call us the next day even though today is as good!

Not because they hate us, simple because they love the power they have over us. A power that fuels that otherwise mundane existence!

To King Kishore, Who's always been there...

When i was all alone, Lost and broken,

Awake at night, finding the silence too loud to bare,

I felt the warmth, felt consoled,

'coz You, King Kishore, were always there...

In those moments of joy, To shake that leg,

To raise that toast, to celebrate and share,

The party got its tone and its voice,

coz You, King Kishore, were always there...

In those blanks of life, when vaccum settles in,

There is no joy or sorrow but only a blank stare,

Those blanks did not feel as empty and void,

'coz You, King Kishore, were always there...

Even if you had not asked us to remember your songs,

There was no way we were going to spare,

The gems you gave us for eternity, and hence...

As long as we live, You, King Kishore, will always be there...

Happy Birthday, Kishore da...

Good News... a tad too late though!

There is something about ‘timming’ that determines the 'impact' of any development. I remember watching BR Chopra’s Mahabharta on Door Darshan- in the late 80’s. The first line of every episode used to state- “Samay keval satya hai, Satya keval samay hai”. At that point it hardly made any sense but today it makes a world of a difference… for I know what it means.

It means it is the ‘time’ that decides our ‘truth’ or more eleborately it is the ‘time’ that decides the ‘relevance of the truth or its impact.’

The reason this came to my mind is because when a friend of mine called me the other morning and yelled at me that Osama was dead I was not as relieved or thrilled as I should have been.

The ‘truth’ in this case was big news but there was something about its ‘timming’ that had taken its relevance away!

It was ten years too late. The damage had been done. Although there is no taking away from the credibility of the soldiers and commanders who achieved the feet its global impact cannot be overplayed.

Osama was today more a senior citizen respected for his vision two decades ago by his brethren. His having been dead is more like a champion sportsman retiring after having lost his form and fitness. He will be missed but not grieved to the point of rendering any terrorist group immobile.

He had served his purpose. He had set the ball rolling and over years the ball has only grown bigger and faster as it spreads in every possible direction and intensity. Terror ten years back was a syndrome we were aware of but today it is a tangible fear that we can smell and feel.

It is thus important to get the timing right and make sure we eliminate the Osama of today who has already played smart by not becoming a poster boy. He has been there somewhere(In Pakistan!!) calling the shots and taking terrorism to another level while the world continued to stay focused on Bin laden.

In order to celebrate… we need to finish him…and do it NOW! For “Justice delayed is…Justice denied.”

UnOfficial Reconsturction...

Additional District Collector of Malegaon, Yashwant Sonawne was murdered, burnt to death by the oil mafias who are responsible for adultration of fuels. Here’s an unofficial reconstruction of events that followed-

Tring Tring ----Tring Tring…(Multiple phones ringing)

The phones began ringing everywhere. The goons called their bosses, the bosses called their bosses, the bosses called the PA’s PA and he called the ministers PA!!

INT/MINISTERS OFFICE/DAY

PA: Yes.

Man 1: Sonawne caught Shinde’s men mixing kerosene with petrol.

PA: Where?

Man 1: Near Manmad.

PA: Ok… I’ll make some calls.

Man 1: No wait!

PA: What?

Man 1: Th…they burnt him alive!

(Silence)

CUT TO:

INT/MINISTERS CHAMBERS/DAY

A tense PA and some other ‘close’ associate stand tensed.

Minister: (On Phone) What was he thinking???? Does he expect me to save his arse now? You idiots!!! I should have known better than to trust faggots like you!

Man 2: Now forget it na sir… You know Sonawne was difficult… we offered him…

Minister: Shut up!! Forget about it. This is big. The media is going to go wild. They have not had any big news for long. They are going to pounce on this. I can already see the Barkha’s of the world jumping for joy! Rascals!

Man 2: I have asked him to disappear for a few days.

Minister: He has killed an ADC in broad day light! Do you understand that? If he disappears then I too will have to disappear and then you can forget about that land of yours and the contracts you were dreaming about! You think it is worth it??

(Silence)

CUT TO:

INT/PRESS MEET/EVE

The angry media is attacking the minsiter with questions. He is looking suitably grieved and angry at the same time.

Minister: We are going to end this menace. There is no way the culprits are going to be let off. A thorugh investigation has been ordered and arrests have been made.

Media: It is said that Sonawne was getting threats from these mafia lords and that he had informed the government about it, still nothing was done.

Minister: All investigations will be made and no one will be spared. We are extremely shocked by this act and there is no forgiving such behaviour.

CUT TO:

EXT/LAWN/NIGHT

Later at night the minister sits on the lawns of his offical residence with a single malt on the rocks.

Minister: I never thought it would come to this. I always knew Sonawane was a bit uptight but I credited Shinde and his boss to be having some brains.

PA: Delhi is very upset sir.

Minister: Delhi always gets upset, what else does it do? Bloody free fliers that they are. Ridding on other people’s hard work. Such things pain me you know Kulkarni.

PA: Of course sir.

Minister: I had really trusted Shinde to be a competant goon.

PA: Oh! Yes Sir.

Minister: Ask *&^% to stop all activities for a couple of months and do all the other usual stuff.

PA: Yes sir.

The PA leaves immediately.

CUT TO:

INT/PA’s PENTHOUSE/NIGHT

Later, the PA briefs his PA on phone-

PA- Shinde will have to be arrested and sacrificed.

PA’s PA: Yes sir. Anything else…

PA: Try to find out which scam of the opposition can be used against this controversy so that the attention is diverted. Make sure you pick a scam that will be equal to this one, don’t waste any other scam by revealing it right now, we may need it later…

PA’s PA: Yes sir.

PA: Any other news?

PA’s PA:- The common man is very angry sir.

PA: Nonsense! The common man likes to get angry, there is nothing else he has the time to do. Infact the common man also likes getting angry now and then. Where else will he take out his frustration?? There are enough troubles in his life so that’s not the worry. However, Make sure &^%$ are not hurt too much and whosoever we damage in the process will not hit back. Common man is the last of our worries!!

Line goes dead.