Friday, January 28, 2011

UnOfficial Reconsturction...


Additional District Collector of Malegaon, Yashwant Sonawne was murdered, burnt to death by the oil mafias who are responsible for adultration of fuels. Here’s an unofficial reconstruction of events that followed-

Tring Tring ----Tring Tring…(Multiple phones ringing)

The phones began ringing everywhere. The goons called their bosses, the bosses called their bosses, the bosses called the PA’s PA and he called the ministers PA!!

INT/MINISTERS OFFICE/DAY

PA: Yes.

Man 1: Sonawne caught Shinde’s men mixing kerosene with petrol.

PA: Where?

Man 1: Near Manmad.

PA: Ok… I’ll make some calls.

Man 1: No wait!

PA: What?

Man 1: Th…they burnt him alive!

(Silence)

CUT TO:

INT/MINISTERS CHAMBERS/DAY

A tense PA and some other ‘close’ associate stand tensed.

Minister: (On Phone) What was he thinking???? Does he expect me to save his arse now? You idiots!!! I should have known better than to trust faggots like you!

Man 2: Now forget it na sir… You know Sonawne was difficult… we offered him…

Minister: Shut up!! Forget about it. This is big. The media is going to go wild. They have not had any big news for long. They are going to pounce on this. I can already see the Barkha’s of the world jumping for joy! Rascals!

Man 2: I have asked him to disappear for a few days.

Minister: He has killed an ADC in broad day light! Do you understand that? If he disappears then I too will have to disappear and then you can forget about that land of yours and the contracts you were dreaming about! You think it is worth it??

(Silence)

CUT TO:

INT/PRESS MEET/EVE

The angry media is attacking the minsiter with questions. He is looking suitably grieved and angry at the same time.

Minister: We are going to end this menace. There is no way the culprits are going to be let off. A thorugh investigation has been ordered and arrests have been made.

Media: It is said that Sonawne was getting threats from these mafia lords and that he had informed the government about it, still nothing was done.

Minister: All investigations will be made and no one will be spared. We are extremely shocked by this act and there is no forgiving such behaviour.

CUT TO:

EXT/LAWN/NIGHT

Later at night the minister sits on the lawns of his offical residence with a single malt on the rocks.

Minister: I never thought it would come to this. I always knew Sonawane was a bit uptight but I credited Shinde and his boss to be having some brains.

PA: Delhi is very upset sir.

Minister: Delhi always gets upset, what else does it do? Bloody free fliers that they are. Ridding on other people’s hard work. Such things pain me you know Kulkarni.

PA: Of course sir.

Minister: I had really trusted Shinde to be a competant goon.

PA: Oh! Yes Sir.

Minister: Ask *&^% to stop all activities for a couple of months and do all the other usual stuff.

PA: Yes sir.

The PA leaves immediately.

CUT TO:

INT/PA’s PENTHOUSE/NIGHT

Later, the PA briefs his PA on phone-

PA- Shinde will have to be arrested and sacrificed.

PA’s PA: Yes sir. Anything else…

PA: Try to find out which scam of the opposition can be used against this controversy so that the attention is diverted. Make sure you pick a scam that will be equal to this one, don’t waste any other scam by revealing it right now, we may need it later…

PA’s PA: Yes sir.

PA: Any other news?

PA’s PA:- The common man is very angry sir.

PA: Nonsense! The common man likes to get angry, there is nothing else he has the time to do. Infact the common man also likes getting angry now and then. Where else will he take out his frustration?? There are enough troubles in his life so that’s not the worry. However, Make sure &^%$ are not hurt too much and whosoever we damage in the process will not hit back. Common man is the last of our worries!!

Line goes dead.

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