Our driving Culture or The lack of it!!

For long now, I have begun to believe one thing with each passing “drive” on our haphazardly scattered eccentric idiots filled roads. It’s that- if one really wants to get a sense of who we really are… driv

e a day on our roads!!

The veil of warm hearted hospitable people steeped in culture that we hide ourselves behind, shows gaping holes as big as our potholes when one witnesses and experiences our driving skills and etiquettes- or the lack of both!

All the age-old garbs of culture and tradition that we have been conveniently wearing are ripped and stripped off when you see the way we drive!

In another country, last month, I happened to ask a cab driver after witnessing the entire region exhibiting some seriously well-mannered driving. “How come every one here is so well behaved while driving?” His answer left me speechless, “Very simple sir”, he explained, “All of us get license on the basis of one thing- How safe and convenient are we with respect to others on the road?!”.

Now, had his answer got to do with “infrastructure” or “resources”, I would have conceded to the fact that being an over populated poor country we do not have enough of those. But I realized the difference is not in the facilities but in the mindset; in the attitude! And it is the absence of this attitude that has made me cringe at us and as you may have sensed- made me furious too!!

For I can sight plenty of facts to justify our chaos- 1) Poverty 2) Lack of education 3) Too many people 4) Lack of infrastructure etc.  But all these factors do not make me see the need to be arrogantly careless and further be proud of being so. Coz that is exactly what we have become!

Our entire driving culture functions on the idiom- “Care a damn about others and keep moving.” Any signs of concern you might show are mocked as being soft and un-macho!!!  That’s what we have been groomed to behave like!

Hesitate to halt in the middle of the road- and you are ridiculed, Stop at a red light behind the zebra crossing and you are honked out of your mind, Wait at a junction for the jam to get cleared and you seem like a retard with the entire world crossing you over!!

It’s infuriating because none of these corrections I seek need any money or resources. All it needs is a basic realization that “Be concerned” to “Get concern”. All it needs is each individual to behave themselves! And good behavior I believe has nothing to do with being “Rich” or “Poor”, does it?

Especially when you harp all over that the strength of your society is not education or wealth or beauty but “Culture”!!

Phew!

The Power of a “Hey!” & the Reality of “Us”

“Hey”- I knew this 3-letter word for long. I have used it quiet often amongst friends & acquaintances. But it was only last month over a couple of weeks that I realized the “power” it held.

It was during a trip abroad. I don’t want to name the place or its people ‘coz 2 weeks, spread over 4 different zones, is too short a time to generalize the nature of its people. Besides, my point here has nothing to do with any particular place. Instead, it has got to do with the possibility of creating such a place as I briefly experienced.

It happened to me one cold evening when I was walking on the sidewalk and a gentleman was about to cross me. “Hey”, I heard him say. I instinctively looked towards the source of the sound and then immediately looked around. There was no one there and he was looking at me, smiling! “Was that for me?”, I quickly wondered before replying with a nod and a smile. He acknowledged and walked on!

All this lasted for over a few seconds but the impact of this action lasted much longer! From walking with a serious face, I suddenly found myself smiling! A hangover of the greeting!

Before I could recover from this… there was another “Hey!” coming my way… And another and another… and soon it was everywhere! Be it in café’s, on the bus, on the tube, in malls, parks, etc…

Complete strangers with whom you shared nothing in common except that one moment when you were in the same time and space were connecting! It was thrilling to realize how briefly as it might be but we were all playing the same roll at some point- Walker on the side walk, Patron at a café, Passenger on the bus, etc… and while playing that role… we connected through a well meaning, very short yet fulfilling- “Hey!”

And then I came back to where I belong- India- Mumbai! And I wondered- Could it be possible here?

We are not as developed as they are, not as rich as they are and definitely not as educated as they are but then are we not as human as they are?! Don’t we like to smile? How nice would it be to not be forever as irritated as we seem? How nice would it be to connect for that brief moment? So I decided to try… but that very day I received this forwarded msg-

“Smile to at least one unknown person while walking, so that he forgets his problems and starts thinking……… “Bh#$!%@d! Yeh kaun tha??!!”

I dropped the plan!

The onus is on us, Whats the rush to Judge?

Give us any news, especially a bad one and just watch out for our tendency to react and worst still- to judge!

It does not matter whether we have our facts right or have any facts at all. All the same we have a sharp and strong reaction to fire off.

Be it matters of national consequences like the coal scandal and spectrum scams or matters concerning our neighbors dog; the moment we are in the know- how of any extreme news, we are ready to react and often negatively at that!

This morning all the news channels have been howling about the three players of Rajasthan Royals being arrested for spot fixing in IPL and the world has reacted! Most have a definite take and judgment on the issue. I wonder how many have the facts!

The most ridiculous part is that some even seem scandalized by the horrendous nature of the development!!! How naïve is it after 6 years of IPL to be scandalized by any nefarious development concerning the event?  Being surprised by the wrong doings that go on behind the glamor veil of the IPL is like being surprised on learning smoking may cause cancer or that our PM is meek!

 

Albeit, my issue is not as much with the IPL here but it is with ‘our’ tendency to pass judgment on anything and everything without even taking a brief moment to reflect and revaluate the truth.

There is nothing that one can expect from the media except sensationalism and jarring headlines.  They pick up scandals, scream about them, pretend to care until the next scandal

And in the midst of all this noise the truth, I have come to believe is never revealed to the common man ever! It keeps trickling in over time and by the time the whole of it is revealed, the interest on the issue is lost, judgments passed and another “Breaking News” announced!

The truth remains ensconced among the guilty who roam scot-free and continue to pollute the society with a straight face and shameless soul.

The onus for sanity thus falls on “us”- the viewers, the outsiders to hold our reactions and judgments until the facts are known… and the facts are never known overnight.

Until the next “Breaking News” then…

There ain’t any logic in life!!

“I am feeling low”, said a friend to me, a few years back. We were in college then… which means this was… ah! Never mind!

“So? Don’t feel it yaar”, I retorted back, “Feel something else”

He looked at me in a strange way, waved his hand and walked away.

“Huh?”, I thought and I walked on too.

I could never fathom what the whole fuss about being ‘sad’ was all about!! I mean if you ever want to feel anything then why not feel happy??

It was that time of my life when everything was going right. Of course there were times when things went wrong but then you simply addressed them, corrected them and moved on. Where was there time to ponder let alone brood over a feeling???!!

Things have changed now! Yes in between that time and now a lot of “life” happened!! (If you know what I mean- huh? Huh?)

Yeah… So now I know what the fuss is all about.

I do know now that at times there is nothing much you can do about a feeling but feel it!... and at times even suffer it!! For all those dudes like me from my younger day- its true!!

Of course! There is the theory about choosing your feelings and being whom you want to be and picking yourself up and moving on but HEY!!... Its easier said than done!!

Whoever thought about taking the horse to the pond and yet the horse not drinking water was not kidding!! But then whoever also said and wrote that theory about picking yourself up and moving on was not kidding either!!

 

The “twist” in this so far confusing tale called life as such comes down to one critical thing- “Timing!!”

It is unexplainable and hence makes complete sense. To feel sad from happy and happy from sad is so much more about timing than just about you!

A similar incident on a certain occasion may not even scar you but the same incident at another time may break you to pieces! Whats the logic? Well.. There isn’t! and hence it is “Life”.

Search “logic” in life and you might as well search God in religion!! Oops! Yeah… that’s for another time! J