The new age devotion- Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Times are changing and changing fast thus if you are in the game then you better play it by the rules if you wish to cause least inconvenience to yourself.

Ganesh Chathurthi is coming in a few days. The festival popularized by Lokmanya Tilak to propel the freedom struggle by bringing about unity in its masses. It was a festival where the God of wisdom, love and peace is revered for about ten days by his devotees. However don’t you get caught in the old beliefs and nibble away quietly at your lords’ feet for then you shall not be the new age devotee! ‘Coz as I said, Times have changed and here are some tips to make sure you are in sync with them….

First thing you must know to do is dance wildly in the middle of the street and not worry about any ongoing traffic or old and sick people wanting some peace to stay alive! For if you don’t dance to loud music in the middle of the road or if you even have problems with anyone doing the same then good lord save you for you are anti Ganpati Bappa and thus a sinner!! Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Mind you the louder the music the more will be your devotion to the lord. The songs can be anything from “Sexy Sexy to Nanachi Taang”, the only compulsion is that they must have good bass and fast beats, lyrics are not important. Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Don’t worry about the expenses of the speakers, generators, lighting and crowd for if you approach any political party they shall extend you with the help in arranging all of the same since they too are true Ganesh Bhakts and care for your feelings immensely. Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Don’t worry about the stamina to dance for drinking alchohol is allowed. The lord just wants to make sure that the road remains clogged at all times and music plays consistently loud so that your feelings can have him touched. Thus all kinds of intoxicants are allowed but of course non veg is not allowed… for there are certain rules and they cannot be broken. Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Another important thing is the huge pandals with expensive decoration- the money for which comes by extorting the shop keepers from around the area. Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Remember larger the pandals the more will be your devotion to the lord. They can be illegal for there is no law on religion … so your pandals can overflow into the main streets. Ganpati Bappa Morya!

Traffic will by itself get diverted and anybody objecting shall be a sinner who will be delivered of his sins instantly by the messengers of the lord Ganesha- appointed by the sponsor of the pandal- usually sitting around a carom board or a game of cards outside the pandal.

Lastly make as much mess as possible during immersion time around the road to that your devotion is scattered in all directions and don’t worry about the fact that the large idols will break into pieces and float back on the shore the next day because after all you are only human and cannot take care of a god!

….who I am afraid will soon be hidding himself somewhere for these ten days of the year! Ganpati Bappa Morya!

GANPATI BAPPA MORYA

“Ganpati Bappa Morya! Phudchya Varshi Lavkar Ya!”- DHAN TE NAN…..
MUSIC! FIRE CRACKERS! DANCING! CHANTING! GULAAL! EVE TEASING! DRINKING! FIGHTING! And of course… the lord!!
They were all out on the streets to bid adieu to their beloved Bappa. Dancing and singing while he headed to his final abode! Music was playing –LOUD AND CLEAR. Old couples cringed, babies cried, others yelled in their houses to speak to each other. For instance, “Dinner is served” became “DINNER IS SERVED! DID YOU HEAR? DINNER IS…” But that’s the price they got to pay for having a low religious quotient! What were they doing inside anyways???
It is because of such people that a little movement of traffic was possible! Had they too been as religious and pious as their fellowmen then the roads would have been barred of any moment or activity but for the roaring processions. Bappa Morya!
What a holy evening that was when no one was allowed to have any emergency or work of any kind… each and everyone had to surrender to the mighty Ganesha. Bappa Morya!
Of course everyone knew when Anant Chaturdashi was and thus everyone had enough time to prepare themselves for this occasion. Either you make noise or disappear. Also how religious and devoted we have become over the years was proclaimed by every political hoardings that illegally hung from between trees and lamp posts…one above the other…one behind the other… with the beaming faces of our do gooders!
Devotion was in full display and could have been measured that evening in decibels and generator capacities. Nothing was going to be held back for the love of the lord and even if it needed gulping down the forbidden liquid to show him our limitless supply of energy and stamina- it was going to be done! Bappa Morya!
The songs played made no reference to the lord but they gyrated the beats that were essential to keep the feet moving and the eyes exchanging naughty glances! The air was thick…with prayers of the sufferers and smoke of the pious. Security was provided to make sure that nobody caused any disturbances to the hordes of devotees who danced in the middle of the streets, yelled at motorists who were not as devoted as them and made cat calls to girls who simply stood by to watch and did not dance with them- atheist girls!

God looked over all of this and smiled. After all it was done to please him. It was all done only for him… and will be done year after year until of course he wishes otherwise! Bappa Morya!